Sales employee insists on bringing his girlfriend of 6 months to a work trip despite his coworker saying it's unprofessional and strange: 'She’s shown up to a few of our work dinners and it’s been awkward because no one else brings their partners'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 29, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

You can go literal years without ever meeting your coworker's partner. Ben from Fail Blog's boyfriend is an incredibly Maris-from-Fraiser-esque figure in my life. I've heard about him many times, have never met him, and probably never will, and that's okay. If you think hearing about Maris, Bob Sacamano, Mrs. Columbo, or Socko is fun on TV, it's only slightly less fun to have one of those people in your real life. I wish my coworkers' partners got into as many silly situations as Maris Crane, but that would probably only make my life marginally better and their lives so much worse. 

There's definitely a time and a place to meet your coworker's partners, but it's awkward when they show up to events that they aren't invited to, like office happy hours or team breakfast meetings. If it's inappropriate to show up to a social function uninvited, it's 10 times worse to do so for work.

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  • The employee in this story cannot take no for an answer. His coworker told him it would be strange to bring his girlfriend of six months on an unglamorous work trip, and he couldn't understand why. He's habitually brought her to work events where she isn't wanted, and this is the first time anyone has told him to knock it off. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10486604032
    via Vince Fleming

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to let my coworker’s girlfriend come on our work trip?

    I work in a pretty tight-knit sales team, and a couple of times a year, we go on work trips to different cities for networking and client meetings. It's a mix of work and team bonding, but it's still a professional trip.
    via u/opalstargaze82
  • 03
    One of my coworkers, Jake, has been dating this girl, Sophie, for about six months. She doesn't work with us, has nothing to do with our industry, and from what I can tell, she just really doesn't like being away from him. She's
    via u/opalstargaze82
  • 04
    shown up to a few of our work dinners (that are meant for the team), and it's been awkward because no one else brings their partners.
    via u/opalstargaze82
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    Cheezburger Image 10486606080
    via Antenna

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06
    We have a trip coming up, and last week, Jake asked if Sophie could come along. I was confused at first, so I asked if she had business there or something, and he just said, "No, she just wants to come with me and make a trip out of it." I told him it didn't really seem appropriate since this is a work trip, and having someone's girlfriend tagging along changes the whole dynamic.
    via u/opalstargaze82
  • 07
    He got annoyed and said he'd pay for her flights and hotel, so it's not like she'd be on the company's dime. I said that's not the issue-she's not part of the team, and this isn't a vacation. He kept pushing, and I finally just said, "Look, I don't think it's fair to the rest of us to turn this into a couple's trip." Now he's upset and acting like I'm being unreasonable.
    via u/opalstargaze82
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    Cheezburger Image 10486607104
    via Miguelangel Miquelena

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    Pseudo-Data I think you missed a good opportunity to have a needed conversation; *let's talk about Sophie for a few minutes. If she wants to come along on her own, I certainly can't stop her however, this is a work trip. You will be expected to be present at, and involved in X,Y & Z, Sophie will not be welcomed to attend these events, so I don't know that you will have much time to spend with her while we are out there.
    via u/Pseudo-Data
  • 10
    In the past, you've invited Sophie along on some team dinners. This is not okay and will not be accepted going forward. While these are after hours social dinners, they are meant for, and restricted to, the team. Should we decide to host an event where SOs are welcomed, that would be communicated at the time. So, going forward, unless it is specified that SOs are welcomed, do not invite her to join us.'
    via u/Pseudo-Data
  • 11
    This conversation should have happened the first time Sophie showed up at a team dinner. You need to set some boundaries with Jake, Jake needs to set some boundaries with Sophie.
    via u/Pseudo-Data
  • 12
    NSFWaking Up Very well said. Your comment addresses all of the issues. OP, I hope you read and follow this advice!
    via u/NSFWakingUp
  • 13
    Pseudo-Data Thank you. This is a scenario that gets harder to reel in the longer it is permitted to happen. It's going to impact the entire team and morale will take a downside. (Been there, done that, watched it happen). For the good of the whole team, I hope OP addresses this sooner rather than later.
    via u/Pseudo-Data
  • 14
    PrestigiousRip8019 Absolutely! This isn't just about one trip, it's about maintaining professionalism and team dynamics. If Jake blurs the line now, it sets a precedent that could make future work events messy. It's not about the cost; it's about keeping the focus on work. Having a firm conversation now makes it clear that while Sophie is important to him, she doesn't have a place in work-related settings unless explicitly invited. Boundaries are key, and Jake needs to respect that.
    via u/PrestigiousRip8019
  • 15
    opalstargaze82 OP Alright, just to clear some things up: 1. This isn't my decision alone. The whole team agrees that it's weird and unprofessional. I just happened to be the one who told him no. 2. No one else has ever brought a partner, not even the married coworkers. 3. It's not like we're staying in luxury resorts. These trips are long days of meetings, networking events, and work dinners. There's barely time to explore, so I don't get why she even wants to come.
    via u/opalstargaze82
  • 16
    4. If it was a casual weekend trip with coworkers, I wouldn't care. But this is a work thing. I don't dislike Sophie, but it's been clear for a while that she has some boundary issues. She's come to lunch with us before and just sat there on her phone the whole time. No one else brings their significant other to work-related stuff. Jake can do whatever he wants in his free time, but this just doesn't feel appropriate.
    via u/opalstargaze82
  • 17
    FryOneFatManic I suspect someone higher up needs to tell him no.
    via u/FryOneFatManic
  • 18
    Maleficent-Sport 1970 Saying that his focus needs to be on business not entertaining his gf. I had barely enough time to try to sleep for 5 hours when I used to do trips like this!
    via u/Maleficent-Sport1970
  • 19
    mayfeelthis The simple response for future is, 'this is a work trip with planned team activities, it wouldn't leave you time to spend as a couple and she can't join the work activities. You're welcome to have her join before/after and book it as vacation days. So you know for future, the company will specify when we have functions that include family and friends, this is purely a work trip.'
    via u/mayfeelthis
  • 20
    It's highly immature and unprofessional to challenge this. Yes people bring partners on work trips but the SO spends it on their own, from what you say she expects to join the team and that's not done. You can mention the family oriented events if any - eg. The Xmas party and xyz are when staff usually invite their SO. Just set the policy - it's not about the team opinion and exceptions. If it goes higher up they can confirm.
    via u/mayfeelthis
  • 21
    ETA: If he's someone you're close to and want to help you may want to mention trying to get an exception to turn a work trip to a social one is not a good look, people who do that go to extreme lengths to ensure their partner is not even visible to their company or distracting their work. Let him know no one else does that, suggest it's usually a good idea to follow the company norms/culture. Basically so he read the room and ease up on bringing his private life to work. Then being entitled and
    via u/mayfeelthis
  • 22
    And dropping by for lunch once (in passing/a while) is ok but socialise or go on your own (the two of them) and come back on time, was that? lol she's clearly not even the social type, why bring her? Dude needs to learn what a red flag is, someone willing to risk your career for kicks maybe that. But that's outside the professional scope, sorry to digress, hopefully he sees it soon.
    via u/mayfeelthis
  • 23
    decian_falx My wife recently came on a work trip. Other peoples did too. We paid for her to go. Her intent was to enjoy the area, not to participate in any of the work-related activities. For me in comes down to this: My time on the clock doesn't change because I'm on a work trip. If my employer wants to buy that time, then there needs to be discussion about extra PTO to be taken later, or other compensation for the time. (My hours are tracked, so this is a non-issue for me.)
    via u/decian_falx
  • 24
    Ordinaryflyaway This is already a mess and should have been nipped immediately. Completely unprofessional and needs to be addressed. I can't believe this was allowed to begin with.
    via u/Ordinaryflyaway
  • 25
    cloistered around I think everyone is wrong here. 1. You can't do anything about him paying for flights/hotel for his gf. If she wants to go on the trip with him that's a okay. 2. However that does not mean she is invited to the work events! Dinners, meetings, etc... she is not an employee of the company and not welcome there. But she's welcome to wait at the hotel for him and then they do whatever the h I they want in his down time.
    via u/cloistered_around

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